Scripts For Tweens: Why Taking The Phone Never Works

Confiscating a tween's phone or cancelling plans rarely teaches anything and often makes things worse. Here's what works instead, with exact scripts.

This Week’s Scenario

Your eleven-year-old has been slacking on schoolwork, or lying about something, or pushing back hard on a boundary you’ve set. And your instinct is to take the phone, cancel the outing, remove the thing they care about most until they shape up.

It feels logical. They’re not doing what they should, so something goes away. But here’s wh…